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Wienerpalooza Limericks

Award-winning Limericks exchanged at the May 1, 2004 Wienerpalooza party, listed here by the alphabetical last name of the author.

There was a Wiener from Van Nuys,
Who bit people's hands, ankles and thighs.
His Mom just fretted
And sometimes sweated,
As his bite was bigger than his size.

---Paul Dietz


There once was a dog of great genius
Who had a rather large penis.
His mind started to wander
When he saw a bitch yonder
So he ran to his Milo de Venus.

---Jonathan Jacobs


We're here to honor Nemo of the Valley,
Who owned a Maisel that's our Sally.
At a blonde hand model he railed
While clicking his 19-inch nails.
His endowment was longer than his tally.

---Jean Kaye


There once was a dog, Nemo Wiener.
To blondes no one could be meaner.
He snapped and he munched
And he chewed and he crunched.
Thank God, it was no misdemeanor.

---Elissa Lenard


There was a dog owned by Sally
Whose penis was a big as the Valley.
His package, forever prized...
Till Sally had it excised...
So went his chance for a big finale.

---Elissa Lenard


There once was a dog, little Nemo,
Whose penis was renowned and so primo!
Sally put him in hats
And antlers and spats
But she could not hide his floor show!

---Elissa Lenard


Our Nemo was truly well-bred
A Wiener from tail to his head.
He'd roll over and fetch
With not even a kvetch
But his latest trick now is "play dead."

---Rich Maisel

firedog.jpg

A dachshund named Nemo once ate
Hot peppers right off of my plate.
He farted out fire
Which launched him up higher
And now he's at St. Peter's gate.

---Sally Maisel



A cranky old A.D. named Jean
Created a terrible scene.
She uttered foul curses
About writing verses
But now she's a Limerick queen!

---Sally Maisel



There once was a Wiener named Plopper
Whose penis was considered a whopper
But then came cute Nemo
Who had a fat peno
Now each of their dicks are show stoppers.

---Tom Maisel



There once were some girls who made game shows,
Who did not find their way with a brown nose.
The other bimbos would travel
And ethics unravel
With the famous celebs they'd rub elbows.

---Jane Sarture



There once were some friends who loved pups
Who'd pot-luck with Jane bringing cups.
Though the dogs sometimes changed...
The great friends would remain...
Through the years but it was never enups.

---Jane Sarture



There once was a wool-spinning mamma
And a writer who loved use of comma.
The two did unite
When the "Prices Were Right."
Now, one cruises and the other has Llamas.

---Jane Sarture



There once was a girl, moved to Cali
Who rented nearby NoHo alley.
'Twas then she met Jane
Her life, never the same.
And now she writes Limericks for Sally.

---Jane Sarture


There once was a Wienerpalooza
Where I thought might be good hors 'd'ouvres.
'Cuz Sally's the hostess
Oh yeah, she's the mostess.
It's as good as the art at the Louvre.

---Jane Sarture


So now I'm addicted to Limericks
I can't stop myself from this gibberish.
Unless my lap crashes
And burns down to ashes
I'll be rhyming until I'm a dimwits.

--Jane Sarture



A girl who had lots of schtick,
Once tried to write a limerick.
Stabbed herself with the pen
Was never heard from again.
Now all we have left is her rhetoric.

--Jay Schwartz



There once was a doxy named Nemo
Whose breath was as toxic as chemo.
He was loved in the past
But you felt you'd been gassed
And he'd benefit more from some Beano.

--Chris Sohl

Additional Wienerpalooza Limericks may be submitted to:







Limericks@wienermania.com