WIENER PETTING ZOO
Zoos are fun for kids of all ages, and the petting zoo is especially appropriate for young children who want to get up
close and personal with small animals their own size. So what could be better than a petting zoo for everyone, filled entirely
with wieners? Oh what fun it would be to walk in and be surrounded by a whole herd of playful wieners, climbing up your leg,
jumping in your lap, licking you in the face or rolling on their backs waiting to be petted. Yes, I'd definitely pay extra
to participate in that one.
THE WIENER INN
You can look forward to spending the weekend at the Wiener Inn, where every room is decorated with a different fantasy
theme. If you've got the gall to go Gallic, your "French Fantasia Chateau" comes with a a pack of Galloise for
you and a beret for your wiener (but no shower--just a can of deodorant and a bottle of perfume.) Feeling like a little South-of-the-Border
atmosphere? Reserve the "Mexihahaha Casa," where you can dress your wiener in a serape and sombrero and turn him
into Senor Wiener. For the C & W fans, (does it stand for Country and Western or Cutest Wieners?) you'll be able to do
some real shit-kicking in the "Get A Long Little Doggie Suite."
To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, when you've seen one amusement park, youve seen them all. That is, until youve been to Wienerland.
The proprietors could take all the best features of Disneyland -- the rides, the food, the high prices--and improve on them
for the common wiener lover. Tom Sawyer could be rafting down the Mississippi with a wiener instead of his friend Jim; Mr.
Toad would be out of business when we install "Mr. Wiener's Wild Ride." Forget the Matterhorn or Space Mountain;
we'll be gliding by dozens of dogs on "Wiener Peak." And you won't be able to get the song out of your head after
hearing "Its a Small Wiener After All."